1 Peter 3 Woman

I did not grow up a Christian. My dad taught Religion and World Cultures at a local high school. This is what I remember him teaching me. When I was young, he showed me a calendar and went through the days of the week. When he got to Sunday, he said Sunday is the day people go to church, however "we do not go to church." He also told me if I ever had questions about religion, to just ask him. 

I became a Christian when I was 25 years old. I say it was a lightning bolt experience, at a very low point after a break-up with a long-term boyfriend. The seeds for salvation had been planted years before, and in fact, a few years prior, the person who would become my future sister-in-law prayed the salvation prayer with me. At the time though, I had no idea what she was talking about. I do not remember if I said she could pray with me, or if she just felt I needed prayer. However, I remember sitting in my future mothers-in-law's living room and closing my eyes as my sister-in-law told me to reach out and accept Jesus. She said he was right there. 

I did not get saved at that time. It was a few years later, and God used a wonderful set of books written by science fiction author, Orson Scott Card, called Women of Genesis to get ahold of my heart. I find it amazing how God works right where we are. I loved those stories, which made the bible very real to me. A few months after finishing that series, I broke up with my then boyfriend and moved home and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

A year later, I married my husband, someone who had been raised going to church. His entire family was Christian. I thought this would be great! What I found out soon after marriage, and honestly began to see while dating, was his walk was not really a walk like I was experiencing. He did not have any excitement about God or Jesus. He did say he prayed, but he lived very much like the world. He would attend church sometimes, however off work hours consisted of going out to drink and attending parties. 

This confused me a lot while dating. I had just left that world, before being saved. That was a world that was very familiar to me. After getting save, I did not want anything to do with drinking, smoking, parties, and even watching certain shows that did not honor God. I was filled with the Holy Spirit and wanted to be at church. This confused me so much about him, and I did not really get the full picture until marriage. When we moved in together, I could really see how God was not the center of his life. I thought, "boy he really depends on God's grace to get away with all the things he was doing, like drinking, partying, smoking, watching inappropriate shows, gaming." That is what I thought was happening. He was just accepting God's forgiveness over and over again. 

It took years and years for me to understand, I guess I am a slow learner, that he does not have the same relationship with God that I have. I was growing spiritually, and he did not seem to grow at all. He had no guilt or remorse over sin. When I would bring up his sins, and ways he was hurting me, he was entirely indignant and unrepentant. I could not understand how he had no remorse over sin and had no desire for God to help him grow spiritually. 

There is so much to our story and I am not going to go into all the particulars in this post. It was about 3 or 4 years after we were married, that God brought me to 1 Peter 3: 1-6in the bible. Which states: 

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

This set of verses blew my mind! It was hope. I had a hope for my situation because up until that point, my husband would not respond in kindness or understanding to the ways he was hurting our growing family with drinking and other worldly behaviors. 

Oh, my goodness submission was a confusing thing for me. I sought out older women to try to understand this verse and what submission meant. We happened to be going to a church at the time that God showed me this verse, and it was a "religious" church. I would say the Holy Spirit moved there. Although some members did have the power of the Holy Spirit, it was few and far between. The religious spirit of the church taught that women were definitely subservient to men, and in my attempts to be submissive, I became more like a doormat. 

This had me wandering even longer in the desert than need be. 

It has been nearly 20 years since I married my husband. I have had the most up, down, round about journey with God. I have been confused my times by the wiles of the enemy. I have wandered away from the truth so many times just to get along with my spouse. Being unequally yoked has been very difficult and during many seasons, it was just easier to "forget" about God and do what my husband wanted, so we could get along. 

In early 2025 I had unexpected surgery which landed me in the hospital for 8 days. It was during this time that I gave my life back to God, fully, 100%. This is another long story. I realized that I had not kept God as my first love. I had not served him with all my heart, but fear of man (my husband), caused me to turn my back on the promptings of the Holy Spirit. I had become filled with anger, bitterness and resentment at my husband for not turning to God and leading our family. The enemy used these emotions to try to take me out and literally kill me. I would have died if I had not had emergency surgery. What the enemy tried to use for evil, God has used for good. 

I am not back on track with Jesus. I am now back on track with 1 Peter 3 and I have an army of Holy Spirit believers on my side. I am believing my husband will be saved and give his life to God. I am believing my marriage with give glory to God. I am believing that it is finished. I am believing in not only full restoration and redemption for my body but our family. I am trusting God for this because he already told me I was healed. I would love you to join me in prayer for the salvation of my husband, and I will share with you all the mistakes I have made trying to be a 1 Peter 3 woman. 

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