My Herbs Blog
I have been doing a series of videos and blog posts (100 tips!) on all the little things that I learned from being an Herbalist the past 2 decades. Not only have I studied herbal medicine but endless books on healing. I know that healing comes from a Spiritual, Emotional and Physical wholeness. The world we live in tends to focus so much on the physical. In fact this should be another topic, because it sickens, saddens, and upsets me to no end to see women changing their bodies with plastic surgery. It is a beautiful thing to learn to love yourself, and to teach your young girls to love themselves. It is truly a crime to be a mother emulating dissatisfaction in front of her daughters and "teaching" without words that to be pretty or good or loved you need to inject your face, body, and cut and paste, and stuff and trim to be a beautiful woman.
How does this tie into Emotions?
I've lived both ways. I have stuffed my emotions under a mound of food, addiction, and distraction and I also have lived where I spewed my emotions out on to people in what would be described as an offensive, and inappropriate way. I have learned from myself, and clients I have worked with that if you were going to choose the lesser of two evils, spewing your emotions is better (at least for you)..... than stuffing them down inside.
I can't think of anything worse for your mental and physical well-being than to bury your feelings under addictive behaviors. As I am not a therapist, but an Herbalist, I will describe to you what I suggest and have done with myself and clients to help uncover and deal with emotions.
Many times I hear that you should have a "safe" person or close friend to share your feelings with, your deepest darkest thoughts and also your frustrations. "Get it out with someone." I think that if you are going to do this, a therapist is the best person for this. I think sharing how you feel with friends is a great way to build connection and empathize with one another, but to put that much pressure on a friendship is not healthy. Plus, you can become really dependent on that person to "lift you up" every time you fall down.
I have found the best tool for me- and this is me, is to write down how I feel about something in particular. Sometimes I write out some pretty nasty feelings. I then take what I wrote and burn it, or throw it, tear it up into little pieces and get rid of it. I do not want to stay or dwell on those thoughts. I want to open up and let them out, but then look for solutions, or the next healing step.
Sitting there with the anger, frustration, or repeating it to another or yourself, over and over again, will only reinforce it into your mind. I found it is best to write it out- then invite God to help find an answer. Sometimes I will see my part in the situation. Sometimes I am led to a book, or teaching that helps me. Sometimes I wind up making a list of things to be grateful for, and then I no longer hold on to the anger. At other times I am prompted to really evaluate and make some hard boundary decisions about what is upsetting me.
I am not saying to isolate yourself and never share with others. It is important to share. I just don't like to over share with one friend. It is too burdensome. Perhaps you have a friend who has gone through something similar and they would be perfect to talk to about your situation. Sometimes groups have been a great way for me to gather strength and release some negative feeling.
However- I feel that I grow THE MOST when I work things out one on one with God. If I can share, open my heart and wait for Him to answer, the answers come. I have to be honest this takes practice and when I first started doing this, my reception was off a lot of times. Again having a close friend to bounce things off of is good, but I am trying to say do not turn it into a complaint session because that can become the only thing you do. We are looking to reach solutions.
These are the things you can start to do to un-stuff your emotions.
1. Get a journal. I recommend a lined journal for writing out long-hand, and also an art journal with blank pages so you can draw, and apply stickers, or pictures.
2. Spend quiet time alone every single day with your thoughts and prayers. Try to find your center on a daily basis. This may be very difficult at first if you do not even know your center.
In fact many people that grow up in dysfunctional homes are so enmeshed with the people from that home of origin that they are not even remotely aware of who they are. They have taken on the toxic emotions of the parents and the children often are so entwined that their own unique personalities have never developed. If you are at this place, you will really need a good anchor of support and multiple anchors to peel back the layers. I would really recommend reputable counselors or therapists to help you on this journey, or a trusted pastor.
When I began my journey I needed a lot of help, but sometimes the help was only for a short season. Maybe only a visit would be enough to help me see some truth.
3. I think the BEST thing you can do to figure out who you are and release some emotion, is to make a long list of all the things you LOVE to do. This is so fun, but it may be difficult if you have repressed your emotions for a long time. I want to encourage you to write down 20 or more items. Also, these are simple pleasures in life.
For example... "A walk on the beach," "A hike in the woods," "A hot bath," you get the idea.
4. The fourth and last thing I am going to suggest here is to start doing these things that you made on your list number 3. I should have given a premise. You can only have 2 digital/ electronic activities on the list. (Like listening to music, or watching a good movie). The list is meant to get you to enjoy the natural and simple beauties of life. That is where we all preside.
I hope this post is touching someone who needs healing. A lot of my posts on this page have to do with healing and not so much about herbs. I have found that these other aspects are so important and the herbals are of course a key aspect, but I can not ignore the emotional and spiritual aspects of mine and your souls. If you want to see more on herbs- go over to my YouTube Channel, Sheep Hill Herbs.
Jenel Schaffer Videos on YouTube